Location:Singapore
Hometown:Malao Land Hobbies and interests: Fencing,Guitar,Sleeping
Name:
Ben Toh
My
PhoTos
* blog archieve
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
March 2006
April 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
November 2006
December 2006 * blog link here.
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Profile:Benjamin,Male,20,Single
I was sitting down thinking about how life was for me for the past few months.
It was great. Getting to know Xubin more and getting to get back my life with God.
And even the process before getting attach. It was rather tough in the beginning,
crying daily, fasting, tried my best to keep those promises, but ultimately it's all worth it.
Live without God was horrible. Right now life is good. Get to rest at home, blog once awhile.
I was thinking about the friends I have, the friends I can reach out and lot more.
Really wonder do I really have good friend on this earth. Willing to listen to my problems,
willing to make a trip down to my place and check out whether I'm really ok.
I think and think again maybe there is maybe there isn't any.
I don't even know who I'm close with, I don't know other then xubin who else can I heart to heart talk.
Have spend all my time in the relationship, Church, Cellgroup member.
I remember the days when I use to meet maxim out, or meet some church members
not from our zone, like chu ping, sheng long, and chern siang just to fellowship.
Right now right after church service only thing I can do is fellowship with cg member.
I enjoy doing that, but some time I find that the time spent is not fruitful enough.
Really got to do something about it.
Someone said this before "An Environment can really change someone"
True true so so true.
Some time it's not because he/she wants to behave like this or like that.
It's because of the environment and the people around.
I'm starting to be so call more protective.
Don't know why but it seems that I don't know who to share my problem with sometime.
Not that I don't want to share, the problem is who to share with.
And do I feel comfortable sharing with that person, can the person help me,
will the person find me a nuisance and a burden.
So what will most people do, is to put up a strong front.
Like everything is alright, but deep down it hurts a lot.
I just finish a HongKong Drama show (Love guarantee).
20 CDs, that's a lot, hahaha...
The show is about:
Selling insurance... but there's love story in it.
There's a part where this guy feel that he lost all his freedom when he's with this girl.
Can't buy sport car can't see soccer and no time to mix around with his click of friends.
But at the same time the girl love him alot, always there when he need her.
At the end the girl found out how must of suffering and hurt she brought to him.
And pretented to be a playgirl, and dumb him.
Because she wanted him to get back his freedom and don't want to be a burden to him.
She want him to be a bird that have legs
He was so so angry but by the end of the story he found out the truth.
And he realise that he need her in her life more then anything else.
So he ask her to be his girlfriend again, and to teach him and guild him, a bird that know
how to land.
So Sweet right.... hahaha
Good show must watch-(Go rent)
Life is short
live it with a purpose
live it with people around you
Don't take each other for granted.
Take care pal.
I got a lot of thing to share.
Firstly,
I want to thank you my darling (XUBIN)
She have been the sweetest girl I ever know.
As days goes by, I am falling over and over again with her...
hahaha.....
okok... not to mushy...
I want to thank God most importantly for her,
and for finding my wallet and returning them back to me twice.
God is good, he never cease to bless me and help me.
He is my helper, he is my best friend beside Bin.
I just finish my operation that day.
Just reach home yesterday. Everything when well.
I want to thank God for being there for me... I would have die there on the bed.
The pain and the numbness to put me on bed 24/7
But thank God I can at least walk out of bed now liao.
I want to thank God in advance for healing Bin and me.
Thought we are going thought time together,
I'm glad I'm not going through it all alone.
LORD PLEASE KEEP US IN GOOD HEALTH.
I PRAY I PRAY.
Thank you ABBA FATHER.
Lastly I want to thank you all guys out there.
Thank you for your prayers and consent.
Thank you very must..
Let continue to pray pray... and develop a prayful life
Whao....
Did many, many meaningful thing yesterday.
this few day i was sick, Gotten MC from Wed to Thursday.
Pretty long arh....
I did many things within this three days.
Yesterday I was at home all the way never leave the house a single step.
Not even to buy food.
I did some video project the whole day,
Cooked Mage mee for my sister
wash up the clothings, WHAO tell you one big PILE.
It's like moutain like that... Now i know how my mum feel
when it comes to washing up of clothings.
Now my house is like a laundry shop like that.
Everywhere hangers.
still got one more pile to go
hahaha...
But there is someone i'm more excited and looking forward to see.
Wah it's feels like long time no see...
hahaha
Remembering my youger days, when i say
Long time no see I Thought You MA TI.
hahaha....
ok Got to go.... to finish up the pile of clothings.
And eat more moon cake
heehee...
Bye
hahaha
i copy this over from xu blog
hahaha...
just want to highlight some stuff
love suffers long and is kind;
love does not envy;
love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;
does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
love never fails.
-1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Let continue to love one another as we love ourselves.
I might not be a good talker might offended many people.
Please for give me can???
I did it out of love, it i hurt you guys in anyways.
Please talk to me and forgive me can???
Long time, since i update my blog.
Have been rather tired to blog this few days.
Today had bad tummy pain.
Every where i go, it seems that i need a toilet bowl with me.
hahaha....
Ya really enjoy myself this few days.
Although it's tiring to go work everyday.
But there will always be something to keep me on.
Like badminton, Cell groupm prayer meeting and service and more to give me strength to
carry out my daily duties in army. looking forward to end my day at work.
ya... got to end here got to slp early got work tml and CELL GROUP
hahaha...
so happy.
take care
Ben
hahaha just when I post out an entry yesterday and now the situation change.
so sad, really don't know how to continue this entry too...Tot of meeting out today one.
But it's ok... Just that many things are runs through my mind now.
Am I a trouble to you.???Just when I feel so close and so love suddenly that consistency
is gone from you.
Yesterday night or consider as this morning while wait my little first bus in a cold cold weather,
feeling cold and tired. wondering is it worth it? Do the person whom i love will really be with me?
And is it really worth it? My heart suddenly breaking apart feeling totally lost.
Althought i have my own problems and difficulty i will still love you just the same as for the past two weeks. that is my love and consistency to you. lot of thing that i agree and don't agree after that conversation. saying i'm in army and this isn't the time. Excuse me...my army life is like working timing lar.....talking about that hahaha tml got to be back in camp... hai ya really hope to see you...today... if not don't know when will be the next time... erm tuesday(pm)??? or thursday...
haiya i'm willing to take all the arrows for you and bear the hurts but if you really love me please don't do that again to me ok... me too... i need someone with consistency too.
really miss you hope to see you soon. So quickly get your thing settle and organize your mind.
So we can work things out together for good. hope to hear from you soon.
byebye
Love you
Hahaha if you realize my tag box is gone....
hahaha maybe for good...
it seem that my army friend is misusing them .
but nevermind.... anyway
I really enjoy what ever that God has place in my life right now.
It like heaven on earth for me liao... heeheehee....
I'm ok with those sad sad time we had together but let's move on..
and be a better man and women of God.
I really appriciate the thing you do for me. The heart the BENTO set hahaha
Fill so love...heehee
You are really becoming sweeter and sweeter hee.....
Love you...so so much... hahaha....
everytime you are down do remember this...
I will be this little hand to catch you everytime you fall.
Love you...
This few days have been a great and tiring week...
Had movie with the cg members on Monday... And got a long long ticket...
hahaha....Tuesday which was yesterday.... I really enjoy myself....Too...
when jogging heehee... At the end when home so late... kana nag hahaha...
but it's all worth it. Today will be another good day too.... hahaha....
tml will be also be a good day... ya half-day leave to take my driving lessons.
then on Friday I guess nothing liao hahaha.....But I'm really looking forward for cg...
this Thursday.... yup yup long time don't have cg liao....Actually one week only.
Last week and this week... Have been my happiers moments in my life.
had lots of break through and made lots of commitments and promises.
I don't offen make promises unless I do have 100% confirmation that it can be done.
Even if I'm not sure this time, I promise that I will make them happen.
promises shouldn't be taken lightly and shouldn't be broken.
God have been very very extremely good to me this few weeks.
Prayer answers and ect ect....
Thanks to my helper....
heehee......
suddenly I got a song in mind:
I don't know about tomorrow
I just live from day to day
I don't borrow from its sunshine
For the skies may turn to gray
I don't worry of my future
For I know what Jesus said
And today I walk beside him
For He knows what lies ahead
Many thing about tomorrow
I don't seems to understand
But I know who hold tomorrow
And I know he holds my Hand.
So lets leave everything to God... and let him plan.